I came to the conclusion years ago that everyone is a nerd for something. I.E., everyone has that one hobby/activity they’re REALLY into. A lot of times it’s broad stuff like music, sports, photography, art, science or whatever. Then there are those of us that are really into super specific things to the point where people often question your sanity.
This certainly applies to roller coaster enthusiasts. Most look at riding roller coasters as simply a fun, exciting and/or scary activity to do during the summer, but us coaster enthusiasts? It’s our obsession. Our passion. The thing that makes us feel the most alive (at least when it comes to the tangible, physical parts of life), so of course there are going to be some really weird quirky parts of our personalities that occasionally shine for all to see. Hopefully you guys will understand this list and find this as funny as I do.
1. You save money and plan vacations completely devoted to theme parks around the country/world.
2. You will literally spend ALL your home spare time on your computer/phone reading up the latest news and discussion on theme park websites, and/or watching roller coaster POV videos on YouTube.
3. Your screen names for all your email/social media pages include the word “coaster.”
4. Your friends will come to you for advice on a future theme park visit, and you get a small ego boost every time.
5. Whenever your parents plan a (non-theme park) family summer vacation, you immediately think of the theme parks closest to/in said destination and plan a day or two to visit them if possible.
6. You are the dominant vacation planner in your family since you can’t comprehend the idea of a vacation without riding coasters.
7. You have absolutely NO problem doing a week-long theme park road trip completely and totally alone.
8. Anytime you hear someone say a random city/state/region, you immediately think of which theme park(s) are in that area. (Ex. When someone says “Florida” most people automatically think “beach.” You automatically think “Walt Disney World, Universal Orlando, SeaWorld, Busch Gardens etc.”).
9. You collect park maps from every park you’ve ever visited. Perhaps you even hang them on your wall as they are such lovely works of art.
10. If you live in a city within an hour from a theme park, you call it your “home park” and make it a pact to visit it at least once or twice a week while it’s open.
11. You could make your friends’ ears bleed with random trivia facts and ride stats from your home park or many other parks, but intentionally choose not to because you’d rather keep your friendship.
12. You can name off all your favorite coaster(s) ride stats by heart, including (but not limited to) who made it, height, speed, length, number of loops, angle of first drop, type of lift/launch system it uses etc.)
13. You cringe every time you hear someone shout out incorrect ride stats, and you’ve quickly learned that butting in to correct them makes you look like a huge a-hole, so you just have to let it be. (Ex. Person: “OMG I love Millennium Force’s 500 feet tall and 100 mph!!!!” You: “It’s actually 310 feet and 93 mph, just FYI…” Person:”Who asked you??”).
14. You know exactly which seat in the whole train is the best seat on several coasters.
16. The word “airtime” makes you shiver with excitement.
17. You know exactly the difference “floater air” and “ejector air.”
19. You have had serious conversations about how Intamin is FAR superior to B&M (or vice versa), and which wooden coaster should be next to get the “Rocky Mountain” treatment.
20. If Schwartzkopf hair products make you think of one of the greatest roller coaster designers in history (Anton Schwartzkopf AKA “Mr. Roller Coaster”)
21. You know Cedar Point will always be the ultimate roller coaster mecca of the world (Sorry Six Flags Magic Mountain…)
22. You have a Top 10 list of your favorite coasters that you have put WAY too much thought into, and it drives you crazy every year as you ride more and more coasters.
23. You keep a precisely accurate count of how many coasters you’ve ridden in your life, and may or may not try to brag about it to your friends.
24. You will never forgive your city for closing down the only major theme park it ever had. (RIP Opryland USA in Nashville…)
25. Your wardrobe consists mostly of theme park t shirts.
26. You wasted SO many hours playing Roller Coaster Tycoon as a kid, AND played it seriously.
27. You know NoLimits 2 to be the most beautiful piece of software ever created.
28. Your dream job is to work in the theme park industry (Ex. roller coaster engineer, CEO of a theme park chain, theme park PR rep/marketer etc.).
29. You are for real planning on moving to a very boring part of the country JUST to be close to two of your favorite parks. (State: Ohio, Parks: Kings Island and Cedar Point. 😉 )
30. One of the first questions you ask on a first date is “Do you like roller coasters?” And if the answer is no, then peace OUT!
31. It annoys you that some people have never heard of any parks other than Disneyland/World or “Harry Potter World” (which is technically in Universal Orlando and is called The Wizarding World of Harry Potter btw).
32. You call Alan Schilke the next great roller coaster genius. Seriously, the dude is practically the Brad Pitt of the roller coaster world.
33. You shudder when you hear the words “Arrow,” “Vekoma,” “Togo,” or “Pinfari.”
34. SLC doesn’t mean “Salt Lake City” to you. Rather, it means “Suspended Looping Coaster” or one of the worst torture machines ever to be made out of a pile of steel.
35. November through March is known as the “off-season,” AKA the most depressing time of the year because all the theme parks are closed (unless you live in Central Florida or SoCal, lucky dogs…)
36. Opening day doesn’t mean a baseball game. It refers to the glorious day when your home park opens back up for the season.
37. rcdb.com is your most frequently-visited website.
38. You hope and pray that motion sickness will not become a major problem later in your life.
39. Your coaster count is higher than your number of friends on Facebook.
40. Your friends often think you are a little crazy, but you don’t care, because you know that roller coasters are man’s greatest achievement in entertainment and engineering, and you will keep riding them until you drop.
But why stop here? Let’s keep it going!! If you have any points to add to this list, post them in the comments below!
Until next time, I’ll catch you in the front seat!